It's been quite a strange thing for me to update my blog two times a week. However, there is no where else I can express my feeling and no one around to talk to when I need them. It's really amazing how things can change in a short time. I confess to a girl. Well, some how manage to confess to her.
I was accompany her to her apartment. I was nervous along the way on how to confess to her. In the end, I barely manage to tell her in front of her door. Her response? " Why so sudden ?? " Then keep smiling.. After that, I basically change the topic and say good bye after a short chat with her.
When I reach home, I text her. At first she said, she don't what to do.. She is completely blank. Then she reply that she don't wanna involve in any new relationship any time soon. It's truly heart break when saw the text, but what can I do? Life still go on.. All I did is went on to find friends to chat around and chat about the incident or about the confession. Said is really easier than done. When I know I should just leave it and let God handle it. But still, I wish to heard a yes from her. But my friend was right. " when you confess your feeling to someone, this is not just about you only."
Today as usual, alone emoing in the class. I just can't chat with them. Don't know what to chat.. Good thing after the break, I regain my normal self and talk with them. But to the girl, I barely speak out anything. All I can talk to her is about school stuffs. To me personal point of view, she already told her friend sitting beside her about what I told her yesterday. But I cant help thinking about it. I cant barely talk to her. Even wanna invite her go out, I can only do it through sms and not directly ask her when she was just in front of me.
What can I do? After confess, she more or less will have barrier formed. All I can hope, all I can pray, all I can do now is hope things get back to normal soon. Even though there is some regret in me of confessing to her, but some parts of me also feel relief. Cause at least I get an answer. Thank you..